Tricks Of The Mind
by Beregond5
Summary: G1. Sideswipe asks Ratchet to fix him. There's more to the scene than meets the eye, though...


"Hey, Ratchet. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Ratchet stiffened at the oh so familiar voice of Sideswipe, his fingers curling around his wrench tightly. He had been working his aft off all day long repairing the injured Autobots after their weekly battle with the Decepticons, and he had been looking forward to finally calling it a night. Except the red pain in the exhaust port of a mech decided otherwise.

Nevertheless, medics were expected to be professionals – till it was proven that the patient just meant to aggravate them and not much else, anyway. So, he turned around slowly, almost warily, and he faced Sideswipe.

"Yes, Sideswipe? Is something wrong?" As far as he knew, the frontliner was one of the few who hadn't been injured in the battle, and Ratchet explicitly remembered that it had made a very nice change.

"My back hurts."

… So much for nice changes then. "Did you got hit in the battle?"

"Not that I remember of," Sideswipe said, shrugging. "But I feel funny when I move about."

"Funny?" Ratchet echoed, raising an optic ridge.

"Stiff," Sidesipe elaborated.

Now that had the medic frown. "Come inside so I can have a look."

Sideswipe complied with a nod, the door of the medic bay closing with a soft hiss behind him. Even as the red Lamborghini took those couple of steps, Ratchet critical optic caught sight of the slightly jarred, cautious motions, a sign that Sideswipe actually trying not to discomfit himself. So that wasn't some elaborate prank of his.

"Lie down."

Sideswipe shifted on his weight uncomfortably. "I'd rather I didn't."

"Why not?" Ratchet asked.

"It hurts."

Ratchet decided that that was serious. "Turn your back towards me."

Sideswipe nodded and just that. At first glance, Ratchet had to admit that he couldn't see anything, so he started probing the area with gentle fingers.

"If your back was bothering you so much, why didn't you come here sooner? It's well after midnight!" he said, still scanning for anything unusual.

"Because I kinda didn't think it was that big a deal?" Sideswipe replied sheepishly.

Ratchet growled. "Figures," he muttered.

"It's not like I had lost a leg!" Sidesipe protested.

"Except there's a good chance that you probably let things get worse, which means more repairs that could have been avoided if you…" Ratchet never finished his rant, however, for it as in that very moment that he noticed the source of Sideswipe's problem. "Hello…"

"What?" the red mech asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Apparently, there's a metal shard wedged in your spinal axis. Right between the 13th and 14th disk."

"Great," Sideswipe said wryly. "And if you took it out I'd be forever grateful, so please?"

"All right, but I'm telling you now, it's not going to be easy," Ratchet replied with a slight shake of his head.

"Is it gonna hurt?" Sideswipe asked.

"Yeah, but I'll try to be gentle," the medic promised.

"Uh… Gentle isn't the word I'd use to describe you, Ratchet."

"You want this done or not?" Ratchet warned indignantly.

"Right, sorry."

"Good. Now…" Keeping his optics on the shard at all times, he flexed his fingers to prepare himself, then slowly inserted his index and thumb inside the small crevice. The sound of motors and cables stretching told him that the intrusion wasn't exactly appreciated. "Relax, or it will hurt worse."

Sideswipe groaned. "This would have probably been a lot easier if you didn't have your fingers up my… Ow!" But for Ratchet holding him still, the Lamborghini would have leapt away. "You said you'd be gentle!"

"I _am_ gentle!"

"Could have fooled me!"

"Excuse me for not expecting it to be so tight!" Nevertheless, Ratchet deemed that he couldn't do any work this work this way, so he removed his fingers. "I'll bring the lubricant."

"Please do!"

Letting out a small huff, Ratchet reached for one of the drawers, where he knew he kept a tine of grease for Ironhide – the veteran's joints always needed to be oiled from time to time, especially on rainy days. Once he deemed that he had enough for this new kind of purpose, the medic coated his fingers with the gel and then applied a generous amount on the two disks.

"Better?" he asked as his fingers coated the shard with the lubricant.

"Much… if you like the cold," Sideswipe muttered.

"Quit your moping; you'll get used to it soon enough."

With that, Ratchet continued with his task at hand and, when Sideswipe stopped fidgeting at last, the medic could focus properly. With any luck, he would be able to get the stubborn thing without any further fuss or grief.

Sure enough, he gripped the shard to test matters, and he sensed it was a lot more loose. Sideswipe must have sensed it as well, for he let out a soft noise of surprise.

"I can feel it move!" he cried.

"I bet," Ratchet said with a smile. "Now hold still…" Pursing his lips in concentration, he tightened his grip on the shard and started pulling it upwards.

"Ow… Ow, ow, ow, OW!"

Ratchet growled in annoyance. "Cut it out, I can barely hear myself think!"

"I can't help it!" Sideswipe retorted. "And just so you know, I'm getting really uncomfortable too!"

"You were the one who wanted to take this standing!" Ratchet said. "Now if you would be so kind to brace yourself, I'm _not_ going to treat you for any extra tears just because you keep fidgeting."

"You're cruel!"

"Maybe, but you'll thank me later. Now hush!" With that, Ratchet continued with the extraction of the proverbial thorn on Sideswipe's side. Naturally, Sideswipe had to be a big sparkling and give another cry as the medic tugged the shard again, but Ratchet decided to ignore him this time. He had wasted enough time discussing things.

"Primus, Ratchet!" Sideswipe exclaimed at another, more forceful tug. On the bright side, though, the sharp had slipped significantly out of its wedged place, and the medic didn't intend to stop now.

"Almost…" he said through gritted dental platings. He gave another tug and the shard slipped farther out.

"I swear, you're a sadist!" Sideswipe said in a strained voice, his hands clenching into fists. "Just do it!"

"Nearly there…" And with a final, mightier tug, Ratchet pulled the shard out at last. "Yes!"

Sideswipe's initial cry of pain ebbed to be replaced by a loud sigh of relief…

And Sunstreaker charged into the medbay. Sideswipe and Ratchet blinked as the yellow mech rushed at them as if ready to take down Megatron himself, only to end up screeching into a halt and staring at them in a confused manner.

"…Yes?" Ratchet finally said, breaking the awkward the silence that had settled in the room.

"Uh…" Sunstreaker's mouth opened and closed several times, the expression on his face changing from indignant to sheepish and from outraged to dubious. "… What are you doing?"

Ratchet huffed. "Fixing your brother's back. Now do you mind?"

"Right… Sure… Sorry…" The yellow Lamborghini retreated, the door closing softly behind him, and silence reigned anew for several moments before Sideswipe decided to speak his mind.

"What was that about?"

Ratchet shrugged dismissively. "He's _your_ brother."

And with that, he tossed the shard in a bowl, considering the case closed.

**The End**

**A/N: If you're wondering what's got into Sunstreaker, try to read _only_ the dialogue from the point "Is it gonna hurt?" and onwards. ;)  
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